dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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