i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
All the doctor said was why
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
