Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
