I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
