I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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