I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
