I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
