It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
