Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
