I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
