So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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