official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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