if you like me you must not know who I am
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
