I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I had to cum in my sink.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
