we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Randomize
