that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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