We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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