After last night, I could never be a politician.
Soap is not a condiment
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
