I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
