I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
