i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Are we still banned from the library?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
