Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
