you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
