no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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