i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This is the high leading the old right now
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
