perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
