Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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