Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
