Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
