Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
