i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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