If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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