I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
