U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I believe in your delicious
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
