I'm really into asian looking animals
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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