i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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