I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
