we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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