i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
