mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
