there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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