The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize