My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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