I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
