everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
