I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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