I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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