im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
