He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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