i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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