Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
