I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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