Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Less talking, more tequila
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
